hopefully

tonight i will dream of something sweet.

something like this perhaps..

11/17/2010 - How did i Get here?

"How did i Get here" is one of my reality checks that works very well with dream recall, so let me ask myself.

How did I get here?

I was laying in my bed with my eyes closed, but before that, i was at some really big farm, with a very rich beautiful blond girl, like i could see her manifestation and hear her voice in my mind and i dont remember ever even looking at her in the dream, she was just kinda there telling me that she would call her dad and we could stay there. so I remember trying to use a touch pad phone, that doubled as a anti touch, touch device, i pointed my finger, my mind made the letters, almost like pushing my fingers in the mud, but with my mind. I remember this being difficult technology for me to work and the girl with me was trying desperately to stop my manly ways and just give it to her so she could just call. I remember the farm was surrounded by a fence, of what kind, i cant remember. Large trees.

I remember dreaming of an x girlfriend named April, but only just slightly, like she was a dream character  and not a center piece of manifestation.

Tonight was one of those all around, mind racing, volatile, unable to really manifest anything extremely vivid. Maybe its the marijuana before bed? I hear this can dampen rem by loads, but sometimes there can be REM rebounds, i have noticed these rem rebounds from drinking. I think smoking is killing my dream ability though. For a few weeks i was able to have vivid dreams every night, and going lucid regularly. Now using marijuana as a sleep aid, and a way to feel more relaxed, meditative, and have less anxiety, its like im swapping those comforts for my ability to dream clearly. So not a trade im willing to make lol. Mary, im sorry love muffin, but you gotta go.