12/6/2010 - my true self

i was in some sort of insane asylum. the room i was in was rather huge, and i remember their was a huge blood stain on the floor in the middle, i reember they gave me a room on another floor and said i could start moving my things to that floor, but i remember feeling unsure of this change. i was going to have to some how take my tv and stuff upstairs, i remember having like 3 pairs of shoes, then the dream fades

and i find myself in the basement area of a friends house. The brother of a friend is getting kicked out of the house for smoking or having weed or something like that. There are other details that im missing, as they fade from me right now. gonna lay back down and see what else comes up.

i did dream, and did go lucid but i was conscious of just emotion, and energy. Which got me to thinking. What if my real existence is a medicated state in some asylum. And everything else is the dream. My writing this down is just one existence. I say this because i have come to realize when lucid, i feel like i have an extra set of memories about the places that i am in. Like i know how i got there because ive dreamed the same dream scenario tons of times, so many times that idk if they are just a dream, by definition they exist as i exist like energy.