Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
In the beginning of this dream, there she was, so close that i could smell the subtle scent of her perfume. We were in some two story house, and my whole extended family was there, everyone from my step dads side of the family. This seemed to be a sort of family get together, perhaps a party of some sort, but she was there, and i was exclusively trying to talk to just her, trying to see what was in and on her mind, the rest of what was happening, was happening in a blurred sense in the background. Well a few minutes had passed in the dream and her boyfriend showed up, like he does in real life when we are in the library and im battling my will to talk to her. In real life, this dude treats her like she is his property, he yells at her nshit. Anyways.. He appeared in my dream (figures). I found out in the dream why he kept appearing, because my step dad kept ratting me out to him. Well there was a moment, when everyone seemed to have disappeared from the house or something, her and i were in a room about 15 ft by 20 ft, there was a bed and other typical bedroom things as well as woodgrain everything, i think she was laying down when i first got in there, and she was slightly weeping, explaining to me softly that she is tired of him, and would really like to be doing something different. I laid beside her, gently tracing her lips with my finger tips, wiped away her tears, and as she snuggled against me like i had hoped she would for so long, her boyfriend comes in and starts freaking the fuck out, well they disappear from my dream scape all together and i was feeling so let down by life that i remember punching huge ass holes into the walls of that particular room i was in. Then i woke up, rolled over and drifted off into another dream.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
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Sunday, December 12, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
and i find myself in the basement area of a friends house. The brother of a friend is getting kicked out of the house for smoking or having weed or something like that. There are other details that im missing, as they fade from me right now. gonna lay back down and see what else comes up.
i did dream, and did go lucid but i was conscious of just emotion, and energy. Which got me to thinking. What if my real existence is a medicated state in some asylum. And everything else is the dream. My writing this down is just one existence. I say this because i have come to realize when lucid, i feel like i have an extra set of memories about the places that i am in. Like i know how i got there because ive dreamed the same dream scenario tons of times, so many times that idk if they are just a dream, by definition they exist as i exist like energy.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
I do remember tho, that i did dream last night, i remember telling myself to remember them, i remember going lucid. BUT i cant remember the pivotal starting piece of information that would lead me to the other stored information haha. Like the "how did i get here" method of reality checking., Well. I dont know how i got here. Or even what here is.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Manipulating dream space for some is no easy task. They dont get the concept that you cant force the change, you have to will the change. One has to accept what is being changed, and just know that it will change. For instance, your in a bar setting, but you think, "aw i dont think i have money" now what you have to do is look for it, know that you have a big bag of money somewhere, you just set it down, remember how big the money was. AND it will appear. but before u can run, you must crawl. So here is my challenge.
Lucid Dream Challenge with instructions:
Change something in your hand into a butterfly. In waking life i always have change so this is very easy for me to accept something is in my pocket when i reach. If you are a girl you might dream of having a purse with you. Next take the small object in both hands, and close your hand around the object, close your eyes and tell yourself when your hands open you will see a beautiful butterfly out. Now open your eyes, then your hands and watch it fly away.
The objective is to realize that in order for things to happen in the dream world, it has to seem acceptable. You have to have faith and know that YOUR WILL will happen the way you will it too. Mastering ones own will is to master the dream realm. Think of yourself as god and in the universe you exist in ALL THINGS are possible and happen at your will. like you are pharoh with magical powers.
Monday, November 29, 2010
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Sunday, November 28, 2010
Then I came too in some sort of baraks/dorm room. I have been this person before I'm sure of it. I have dreamt a few times of this. I'm always the sort of person that forgets what's supposed to be going on and shit. While my roomate always fills me in. I'm always late to the classes. Trying/suceeded to have sex with the womenz in this co-ed military foundation. Anyways we were in our dorm, talking shit about our task for the morning time. And how we had to wake up at 4 for some PT. I remember him going to shower, then the dreamed lapsed time, and I was feeling late for our tasks. I run out into the hall, realized I'm wearing regular clothes. Kept trying to force the outfit to change with my mind. It wouldn't. Then I found myself in a four way hall. In the ladies showers, and they are all looking at me like whaaaaatuuuuup. I became lucid at this time, went and made out with a few of them like a boss, I started slipping from this being, but remembered to spin giving me a few more clear minutes. Ultimately I drifted back off into the unstructured space of just exisiting as energy in darkness, then I woke up with recall like damn.
I'm really starting to realize with this journal that I'm having very repitious dream sequences. I'm creating or either tapping into building blocks that are already built by my subconscious. Whole worlds that truly exist. Meeting persons places and things that are oblivious to my very exisitence. But are their because I created. These are extentions of myself. It makes me wonder. Could we all just be but an extension of the entity and cosciousness that makes up god. Can this reality in which we live not be a simulation, perhaps a huge dreamshare. While our real self is all of the same original starting mind. But what if that mind is dead in its current state, so the only way to keep survivng as consciousness is to create forward. Oh if I could just figure out how to dilate time in dreams. I'd stay for days and years. Its a way to truly be immortal.
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Saturday, November 27, 2010
I wrote everything above then decided to try wild. Annnd
Just went wild 3 times. First time I found myself riding in the back of a truck, it was super clear, I remember just looking around at the complete clarity, and how beautiful the day was. Then I slipped out of it, forgot to spin and stay.
2ndd one I found myself on a college campus at night, looking for my brother and a girl named caroline, they went down a flight of stairs because they were enchanted by a "witch" of sorts. She had their them enchanted with their hands in holy water as she gained power by stealing their life force, then the dream went into movie mode and I witnessed the witch pull some sort of thorn out of her side and it turned into satan, who gave her a crossbow. Then the scene changed again and I'm on top of a house waiting for her to get back, I shot her with another crossbow and bolt then slipped from the dream.
3rd wild I came too in a house full of local people, a girl named sharii and her molerat looking husband were laying on the couch. Folks laying on the floor, etc. I woke them all up and forced them to know that they were dreaming, trying to help them become lucid aswell. This dream quickly sliped also.
I also remember being in some sort of co-ed college dorm room, looking out of a window at my grandma, mom, and aunt all talking and laughing about, and their were cats.
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Friday, November 26, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
I remember there being tons more dreams from last night, just none as clear as the airplane one.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
I do remember a tiny nibble from one dream. I remember having to fix a computer. I remember looking into the case from a 3rd person view of myself doing it, while someone else watched me, we were replacing a HDD, and we talked cmos, and as soon as i look at the cmos battery, my mind started the creation process of the traces in the motherboard, zipping down slightly behind light, as it builds around my consciousness, or as my consciousness builds the fractal branching tunnels. Then i zip into another dream, or dream state, perhaps even sleep state, because i don't remember much after that except blurry existence.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
For some reason, even when im not lucid, i know how to use the skills that i acquired from lucid dreaming. Such as willing objects to my self, and being able to fly/levitate. I dont know why these skills dont always jolt me into lucid, but they don't for the most part.
So tHere i was fleeing the building were i just assassinated somebody of high importance. I kill 2 gaurds on the way out, scale the side of the red brick building by willing my self up. Once on the first layer i knew they could see me, i remember knowing what i did was really bad but necessary and before long they would catch me, i felt like they knew were i was, so i scaled the second layer of the building, same, got to the third layer, found a hole that i could wedge my self into and shimmy down, kinda like a big chimney. Once i jumped down i felt the security of being free and i woke up to the sound of "300" playing on my computer. =]
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
A few hours last night before bed, I turned my folder of documentaries on random and just let the documentaries play in the background while i blogged vigorously. After getting tired i decided to just go to sleep and leave the movies playing.
There I was, in a childs room, maybe a teenagers room. The room was decent in size but i dont remember a bed, just everything else that is usually in a bedroom, minus the bed, perhaps like an extraroom or a pool house? Not very sure, the lighting was decent, like middle morning. I remember becoming lucid as instantly as the dream was created clearly. It was super vivid. I was so aware, that i remembered to do a few reality checks, like rub my hands together, i even read what was on the dresser, it seemed to be in a different language, BUT IT WAS CLEAR! and readable in this state of existence. I looked in the mirror but i wasnt quiet myself, i was younger, thinner, with darker hair, but i accepted it thoroughly. I remember thinking to myself, this would be crazy if as soon as i become this clear and lucid ill be stuck in this room.. So i went over to where i remember the door being, and it was gone, melted into the wall, i was like "DOH!" I believe i even face palmed.. No worries, ive been wanting to try something anyways. I walk to the mirror and touch it, it was solid as a mirror should be, I have experience willing myself through solid surfaces before to I put my hand on the cold glass, and will my hand through it, it was so freakin sweet haha. Normally if i want to walk through a surface like that i have to close my eyes, so thats what i did. I close my eyes and step through the mirror into the rest of the house. I remember there were a few rooms with people, the rooms were plain, and looked more like a completely different place then what the room i just left was like. I remember looking for the blond girl of passed dreams, like on this plane of existence i know her immensely. Perhaps we are lovers, or friends that i wish were lovers, im not sure, havn't figured it out yet. Once i found her, or someone like her, i woke up.
This is where the India Experience comes in too the India Experience. After the previous dream fades into the next, i find myself in a tent, in the middle east, with three families, listening to two men talk about breathing techniques of yoga and ancient other things. Gods and goddesses. Religious stories. I remember being concerned that their dog might fight with my dog. That i was thankful for their family accepting mine into their tent. I couldn't understand how we had got there, or why we were there, i felt like something insane had happened to the rest of the world, but i was accepting of it. Like it didn't matter. What mattered was working together, rebuilding, and over coming what ever happened.
Then i woke up, and realized the men talking were on one of the documentaries i have about yoga and breathing techniques that ive never even watched before hahaha. Still sweet how they entered my dreamscape though so subtly.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
The research I have done, is suggestive to the tendency for the body to bounce back with hyper/prolonged r.e.m. once the drug has left the body. Before starting this blog, i went from a chronic marijuana users, to cold turkey for 35 days. In the course of those 35 days i noticed the dreams started to become longer and more vivid as time passed. I currently have enough nug for a few bowls, so hopefully ill either dream tonight, or for sure tomorrow, im a poor man so beating the udge to buy more is impossible, I HAVE NO MONEY FOR MORE!
After a few days ill lose the immediate want and focus all that energy into MILD and WILD times (bahaha).
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
How did I get here?
I was laying in my bed with my eyes closed, but before that, i was at some really big farm, with a very rich beautiful blond girl, like i could see her manifestation and hear her voice in my mind and i dont remember ever even looking at her in the dream, she was just kinda there telling me that she would call her dad and we could stay there. so I remember trying to use a touch pad phone, that doubled as a anti touch, touch device, i pointed my finger, my mind made the letters, almost like pushing my fingers in the mud, but with my mind. I remember this being difficult technology for me to work and the girl with me was trying desperately to stop my manly ways and just give it to her so she could just call. I remember the farm was surrounded by a fence, of what kind, i cant remember. Large trees.
I remember dreaming of an x girlfriend named April, but only just slightly, like she was a dream character and not a center piece of manifestation.
Tonight was one of those all around, mind racing, volatile, unable to really manifest anything extremely vivid. Maybe its the marijuana before bed? I hear this can dampen rem by loads, but sometimes there can be REM rebounds, i have noticed these rem rebounds from drinking. I think smoking is killing my dream ability though. For a few weeks i was able to have vivid dreams every night, and going lucid regularly. Now using marijuana as a sleep aid, and a way to feel more relaxed, meditative, and have less anxiety, its like im swapping those comforts for my ability to dream clearly. So not a trade im willing to make lol. Mary, im sorry love muffin, but you gotta go.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Places i traveled too in no order:
Long Cane Middle School Gym, i remember being in there watching two people playing basket ball, a white kid and a black kid, i remember trying to dribble a ball half way down a court, ran out of breathe, shot and missed, i remember traveling the hall to go to the bathroom at the end of it.. then i was some where else.
I remember being at some sort of family get together, tons of people, and i became aware of being here, then i tried to levitate, after that, i knew i was dreaming and even made objects around me levitate, like a glass of soda, made some of the other characters in my dream world stop and watch to validate that it was happening, then some how i got sucked back into the dream by the gravity of the dream, and i had to go dump a huge container of shit that i knew came from an RV.. why, idk, ive never done this before.
One of my dreams, i obtained a fairly large bag of what i understood to be cocaine, in my dream i put in my car, behind the seat, this one item stayed with me my entire decent into the dream planes, always in the back of my mind, like i knew it would be safe there until i got back.. I DONT EVEN DO COCAINe!!
I remember being in an apartment that had a mattress on the floor, i remember my mom was with me also, and on the television in this apartment was a friend of mine from my childhood street who is the bassist for Straight Line Stitch now, and then he was in the apartment, and i didn't want to sound like some groupie, so i didnt even mention to him that i just seen him in a commercial. i remember the faint sound of some sort of calming music in the background.
Towards the night time and end of this vast experience, i find my self back at the get together, with the first dream, like all the other dreams stemed off of the first one, anyways, this is the final dream of the night. It was dark, people were all coupled up around a central source of light, it was a mix of people, that i assumed were people and or friends of the other people there, now that i think about it, i believe i only knew like 2 people, perhaps. They were all talking about something, and i put in my two cents, they dismissed my idea, and then wouldnt even let me finish, getting louder and louder, i remembering ending up back at my car, pissed off, about to fix the problem ,i reach for the sack of cocain in the back of my seat, i turn the lights on, and remember thinking, "im turning them on but the damn lighting isnt changing" (i should have went lucid from this but i didnt) i check and see if its still wrapped up the exact same way it was when i got it, (which seems like 100's of dreams before) i unwrap it, grab something to snort some, my car starts driving itself down the hill on which is was parked, i didnt care, i was in a "fuck it" kind of mood. got to the bottom, snorted a spoon full (lol).. woke up. here i am writing this entry.
There is also a handful of other places that im remembering, but only just the place to i remember, like, i remember seeing tons of people from my high school and childhood days just in no particular order, just them being in dreams, just parts of it, sometimes it seems like the whole dream only happened in a time realative to the time im experiencing now, even though the dream experience felt like hours. I literally felt like ive been doing other things for days now, and ive been asleep for roughly 10 hours. Perhaps relativity is the reason why some dreams seem like blips, because the mind wasnt recording it down as fast as it was happening, but in that state of now, time is irrelevant unless ones consciousness is experiencing time on a higher plane then one is existing on the current plane.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Side note. I want to try the static and blind fold technique for going WILD .
Back from side note and onto the next side note.
Im going to start blogging about techniques that i have tried and found successful in helping me either reach awareness or sustain it.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Maybe that was the purpose of last nights dream, was for me to create a dream out of dreams, and add another piece of evidence for the fractal nature of the universe. Or perhaps, those are some of the fractals of my own consciousness, those literally are me, in other lives that my own mind created. Those are universe's that i get to interact with because i generate them, infinity. What if, since ive already created them, they are forever there, in their own universe, a bing bang caused by a thought, in the rippling nature of the universe, it existed. As much existed as i exist right now. As an electronic charge and magnetic waves.
Time only exist because of how its felt and compared to the surrounding imposition. Time is created when consciousness is created, simultaneousness they coexist, because consciousness will create time in order to keep track of memory, and to be able to order things sequentially, in order to learn. Learning is created when consciousness tries, in a plane where consciousness always succeeds, there are no limits, and the universe consciousness creates will be limit less, adding law becomes limiting, to create is to control. Learning enlightens the controller. Once enough control is gained, time becomes extremely apparent. I wonder if in the dream state, knowing that one does trans-dimensionally exist through the dimensions one creates, will allow for greater clarity when in these other existences. If we could trick our internal time keeper to autotune into theres, then perhaps time dilation will occur enough for memory recollection/generation/lucidity to begin in depth.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
11/11/10 - Military and Showers
disucussed a dream about being in some sort apartment, hearing something in the next room ,kinda came true last night i have pictures but no way to get them from my phone to the internet. well i could email them to myself but.. that would take so long,.
Anyways, this damn hotel room, at the econolodge, was like, straight out of a freaking tim burton movie. Red fractal patterns on the couch and floor that makes you appreciate acid. Green computer chair that looks as if Willy Wonka should own it, we found a busted crack pipe in the drawer. Sweet place. Great lighting. Heater was nice and hot. Smelled like an ashtray. Our maybe a dirty bong, i think both.
Grey Goose, blow, and a few hookers later.. jk bout the blow..I find myself drifting off into this, what seemed like portal to this dreamscape that was contained to that room, like i remember from the dream realms that i could walk on all sides of the room, and it was a collective conscious dream. I wasnt the only one trapped in this paradox. It was one of those wondering dream realities. Maybe there is a connection.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
The begining of my dreaming journey last night from what i can remember is.. I was in the military and it felt like we have been walking, exploring for hours, i remember walking through a kind of abandoned city, and the enemy was Asian, they were hiding under hay in barns, and in rooms as we walked by they poped up, after securing the area we move on, and i find myself climbing the side of a super steep hill and the only thing to grasp onto was the mini tree's that were growing out of the side, aswell as the green moss like plant life attached to the rocks and dirt. We get to the top of this steepness, we see a pond and it was the first time we have seen water in hours, most of us run to this pond and start drinking from it, others go for a brisk swim, and i remember thinking to myself, why.. its so cold out here.. then we rendezvous inside a building where we get in rank, and the CO states did i know the order in which to line up, and i remember saying, no.. i didnt, and he proceeded to show me, then i woke up slightly and checked my phone to realize it was only 2:30 a.m. so i closed my eyes and drifted to somewhere.. (Ironic today is veterans day)
Next dream in the sequence i remember... Also the one that i just woke up from..
I was in some sort of apartment, or hotel room, more like a hotel room the more i think about it, also side note, i just noticed that ive been in this apartment/hotel room setting before, this exact one too, multiple times now that i think about it, i even referenced it before.. hmm
any ways.. I remember someone being in the shower and they walked out, and i decided i needed a shower, i remember this person stating "ima get my trade mark ready and go out the door" and he ment his mustache, i remember knowing that he was going to court, and he was with some girl that i understood to be his girlfriend. The shower was of neutral temperature, and i remember stealing his shampoo (lol) then i hear BOOM BOOM thump thump boom boom, so i run to the door (i just realized i was automatically dressed..) and kept trying to peep out of the peep hole but couldn't see anything, then someone else was magically in the room also and we discussed that it sounded like dogs running in the room next to us, the same one we broke into (in a previous dream) from the balcony to explore because it had been abandoned for "years".. Then the dream started to fade and i woke up (i think lol) and it was my bull mastiff running up and down the stairs in my house.
I didnt go lucid, but i did just realize some of the stuff that are similar and reoccurring! =] onward we go!