Monday, November 29, 2010

Had to be badly

I dreamed that I pissed in a hospital bed, not my hospital bed but it reminded me of one time after a surgery when it took me like 7 hours to piss. Then got a catheter.. But in this dream I was ok, just had to piss so badly. I pissed rivers of piss. Then when I really woke up. I had to piss like whoa.

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Sunday, November 28, 2010

11/28/2010 : patterns emerge

The dreams I remember from last night. The first one I came to consciousness in a boat, like a boat one would see a native rainforest dweller of south and central americas. I had a wife with me and our child. We were trying to get somewhere new, perhaps back to somewhere old, I'm not sure. What I am sure of is the fact the boat kept filling up with water. Like we would hit a wave and warm water would just fill the boat. It did this until the boat sank along with my wife and child. While the people on the river bank watched and didn't help. Wouldn't help. And idk if they even cared to help.

Then I came too in some sort of baraks/dorm room. I have been this person before I'm sure of it. I have dreamt a few times of this. I'm always the sort of person that forgets what's supposed to be going on and shit. While my roomate always fills me in. I'm always late to the classes. Trying/suceeded to have sex with the womenz in this co-ed military foundation. Anyways we were in our dorm, talking shit about our task for the morning time. And how we had to wake up at 4 for some PT. I remember him going to shower, then the dreamed lapsed time, and I was feeling late for our tasks. I run out into the hall, realized I'm wearing regular clothes. Kept trying to force the outfit to change with my mind. It wouldn't. Then I found myself in a four way hall. In the ladies showers, and they are all looking at me like whaaaaatuuuuup. I became lucid at this time, went and made out with a few of them like a boss, I started slipping from this being, but remembered to spin giving me a few more clear minutes. Ultimately I drifted back off into the unstructured space of just exisiting as energy in darkness, then I woke up with recall like damn.

I'm really starting to realize with this journal that I'm having very repitious dream sequences. I'm creating or either tapping into building blocks that are already built by my subconscious. Whole worlds that truly exist. Meeting persons places and things that are oblivious to my very exisitence. But are their because I created. These are extentions of myself. It makes me wonder. Could we all just be but an extension of the entity and cosciousness that makes up god. Can this reality in which we live not be a simulation, perhaps a huge dreamshare. While our real self is all of the same original starting mind. But what if that mind is dead in its current state, so the only way to keep survivng as consciousness is to create forward. Oh if I could just figure out how to dilate time in dreams. I'd stay for days and years. Its a way to truly be immortal.
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Saturday, November 27, 2010

WILD 3 times : witches nstuff

I was at someones house, that was ontop of a mountain, and decided I needed to walk home in the snow, after walking for ages, I seen cop lights and started walking to them, but then everything went pitch black, I thought I woke up in my own bed and walked to the bathroom, but on the way back to my room I noticed porn playing on a computer screen, then I woke up again.

I wrote everything above then decided to try wild. Annnd

Just went wild 3 times. First time I found myself riding in the back of a truck, it was super clear, I remember just looking around at the complete clarity, and how beautiful the day was. Then I slipped out of it, forgot to spin and stay.

2ndd one I found myself on a college campus at night, looking for my brother and a girl named caroline, they went down a flight of stairs because they were enchanted by a "witch" of sorts. She had their them enchanted with their hands in holy water as she gained power by stealing their life force, then the dream went into movie mode and I witnessed the witch pull some sort of thorn out of her side and it turned into satan, who gave her a crossbow. Then the scene changed again and I'm on top of a house waiting for her to get back, I shot her with another crossbow and bolt then slipped from the dream.

3rd wild I came too in a house full of local people, a girl named sharii and her molerat looking husband were laying on the couch. Folks laying on the floor, etc. I woke them all up and forced them to know that they were dreaming, trying to help them become lucid aswell. This dream quickly sliped also.

I also remember being in some sort of co-ed college dorm room, looking out of a window at my grandma, mom, and aunt all talking and laughing about, and their were cats.
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Friday, November 26, 2010

11/26/2010 - BLAH

So i know for a fact i dreamed last night, all night. Tons and tons of dreams but i will be damned, i woke up 30 mins ago after a night of concentration and focusing on remembering the timeline of the dream, then my mom barges in my room while i was coming out of a dream, startled me, forcing me to lose concentration, and their for losing my entire night of dream recall. RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGERAWEIRWEJFAE. I do remember laying down in another dream and waking up in my bed thinking that it was going to be the other room. I do know there is something that i experienced so clear that i could draw it, and the image in my head is locked in my mind somewhere. Im going to lay back down now and try and recall.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

11/25/2010 - Planes and Mayhem

So how did i get here. Well i believe i just woke up. The text im typing is clear, reality seems like reality. Who knows. One of the many dreams i had last night had to do with being in an airplane. Well the way it started was, I and a few other people were outside next to a pavilion when we had to board a small carrier, next thing i remember is actually sitting in a plane that from the inside looked more like a school bus. So essentially we are riding the magic school bus and it feels unquestionable. Well the driver starts having an insanely difficult time keeping control of the aircraft, turbulence is throwing the plane around, he lands on a strip of open high way but since everyone is complaining and up roaring he takes off , nose dives then  pulls up real quick to put us back into flight. This didn't feel like it lasted very long and the next thing i feel and could see out of the window was the pilot taking out the left wing on the side of a building, then the right wing on a telephone pool. Hovering only feet off the ground he manages to land the plane safely, on Old West Point Rd in West Point Ga. The road looked just like it had my whole child hood. We landed right next to Smitty's Cycle, and i remember telling the pilot he could just let my ass off right there, i dont want to play this game anymore lol. Then i woke up and for the rest of the night i dreamed about wanting to dream. Dreamed about laying in my bed. Maybe that is why some people feel like they dont dream.

I remember there being tons more dreams from last night, just none as clear as the airplane one.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

11/24/2010 - Too drunk to dream

so um.. yea. i think i was too drunk to dream last night. will start fresh tonight :D or perhaps i can dream better with my hangover today, when i take a nap ill try a WILD and see if it works. Slight aching pain usually allows me to dream like crazy.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

11/23/2010 - Mein Kampf experience

I went to sleep last night, but before i went to sleep I started Mien Kampf by Adolf Hitler. Its like a bazillion 15 minute sections. I got through the first 15 minutes then dozed off. Into a world with a German sounding narrator. No way to pull my wondering mind and energy into material that i recognized, just flashes of imagery mixed with swirling colors. I remember getting lost into the idea that we do not experience the same reality as everything else in the universe. There might be beings that we cant even see because they vibrate at a frequency outside of our what our mind can process. There is colors and experiences that we cant begin to realize with the senses we are equipped with. I remember being lost in the creation of this thought process Until I woke up. I remember dream transitions, just not the dreams.

Monday, November 22, 2010

11/22/2010 - no clearity only autopilot

Yesterday i decided to clean the yard.. all day. Burned tons of leaves. Heres a touch of proof from the pyromania. Anyways, I was beat. I remember dreaming about using blogger.. ugh lol. like i never stopped working on the project i was working on. I remember I used to have this happen when I was programming my poetry social network . Algorithms that i couldn't create would haunt my dreams until i solved them, waking up with the answer. Like my brain was on auto pilot until the equation was created to do what i needed the site to do.

I do remember a tiny nibble from one dream. I remember having to fix a computer. I remember looking into the case from a 3rd person view of myself doing it, while someone else watched me, we were replacing a HDD, and we talked cmos, and as soon as i look at the cmos battery, my mind started the creation process of the traces in the motherboard, zipping down slightly behind light, as it builds around my consciousness, or as my consciousness builds the fractal branching tunnels. Then i zip into another dream, or dream state, perhaps even sleep state, because i don't remember much after that except blurry existence.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

11/21/2010 - Shots fired

I just woke up from this dream, a kind of nightmarish one. There i was, in this protected building, like i was a spy that somehow gained access, or i was a prisoner and they forced my access. Either way, i remember this super important person walking by with a bodyguard on either side. I remember feeling a certain personal dissatisfaction for this person. So when he was half way down the hall, the gaurd beside me had a kind of rifle with a bayonet, i punched him in the face and ninja'd the bayonet out of his hand, soon as it landed in my hands i sited the gun up on the back of his head pulled the trigger, watched him fall, and proceeded to evacuate the building through the best possible route. I knew as soon as this person had fell id have hell on top of my head.

For some reason, even when im not lucid, i know how to use the skills that i acquired from lucid dreaming. Such as willing objects to my self, and being able to fly/levitate. I dont know why these skills dont always jolt me into lucid, but they don't for the most part.

So tHere i was fleeing the building were i just assassinated somebody of high importance. I kill 2 gaurds on the way out, scale the side of the red brick building by willing my self up. Once on the first layer i knew they could see me, i remember knowing what i did was really bad but necessary and before long they would catch me, i felt like they knew were i was, so i scaled the second layer of the building, same, got to the third layer, found a hole that i could wedge my self into and shimmy down, kinda like a big chimney. Once i jumped down i felt the security of being free and i woke up to the sound of "300" playing on my computer. =]

Friday, November 19, 2010

11/19/2010 - LUCID - India Experience

Documentary induced lucid dreaming, shall i invent this?!

A few hours last night before bed, I turned my folder of documentaries on random and just let the documentaries play in the background while i blogged vigorously. After getting tired i decided to just go to sleep and leave the movies playing.

There I was, in a childs room, maybe a teenagers room. The room was decent in size but i dont remember a bed, just everything else that is usually in a bedroom, minus the bed, perhaps like an extraroom or a pool house? Not very sure, the lighting was decent, like middle morning. I remember becoming lucid as instantly as the dream  was created clearly. It was super vivid. I was so aware, that i remembered to do a few reality checks, like rub my hands together, i even read what was on the dresser, it seemed to be in a different language, BUT IT WAS CLEAR! and readable in this state of existence. I looked in the mirror but i wasnt quiet myself, i was younger, thinner, with darker hair, but i accepted it thoroughly. I remember thinking to myself, this would be crazy if as soon as i become this clear and lucid ill be stuck in this room.. So i went over to where i remember the door being, and it was gone, melted into the wall, i was like "DOH!" I believe i even face palmed.. No worries, ive been wanting to try something anyways. I walk to the mirror and touch it, it was solid as a mirror should be, I have experience willing myself through solid surfaces before to I put my hand on the cold glass, and will my hand through it, it was so freakin sweet haha. Normally if i want to walk through a surface like that i have to close my eyes, so thats what i did. I close my eyes and step through the mirror into the rest of the house. I remember there were a few rooms with people, the rooms were plain, and looked more like a completely different place then what the room i just left was like. I remember looking for the blond girl of passed dreams, like on this plane of existence i know her immensely. Perhaps we are lovers, or friends that i wish were lovers, im not sure, havn't figured it out yet. Once i found her, or someone like her, i woke up.

This is where the India Experience comes in too the India Experience. After the previous dream fades into the next, i find myself in a tent, in the middle east, with three families, listening to two men talk about breathing techniques of yoga and ancient other things. Gods and goddesses. Religious stories. I remember being concerned that their dog might fight with my dog. That i was thankful for their family accepting mine into their tent. I couldn't understand how we had got there, or why we were there, i felt like something insane had happened to the rest of the world, but i was accepting of it. Like it didn't matter. What mattered was working together, rebuilding, and over coming what ever happened.

Then i woke up, and realized the men talking were on one of the documentaries i have about yoga and breathing techniques that ive never even watched before hahaha. Still sweet how they entered my dreamscape though so subtly.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

11/18/2010 - dreamless night

So in my last post I mentioned marijuana stealing the wind from my dream sails. I'm starting to really see why this is possible. My theory is, if one is awake, and smoke marijuana, their waking state FEELS like the dream state. So im thinking that once you make it to the dream state, the sedation's brain scrambling effects takes out the need for R.E.M ,since you have literally been doing this the whole time you were under the influence while awake.

The research I have done, is suggestive to the tendency for the body to bounce back with hyper/prolonged r.e.m. once the drug has left the body. Before starting this blog, i went from a chronic marijuana users, to cold turkey for 35 days. In the course of those 35 days i noticed the dreams started to become longer and more vivid as time passed. I currently have enough nug for a few bowls, so hopefully ill either dream tonight, or for sure tomorrow, im a poor man so beating the udge to buy more is impossible, I HAVE NO MONEY FOR MORE!

After a few days ill lose the immediate want and focus all that energy into MILD and WILD times (bahaha).

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

11/17/2010 - How did i Get here?

"How did i Get here" is one of my reality checks that works very well with dream recall, so let me ask myself.

How did I get here?

I was laying in my bed with my eyes closed, but before that, i was at some really big farm, with a very rich beautiful blond girl, like i could see her manifestation and hear her voice in my mind and i dont remember ever even looking at her in the dream, she was just kinda there telling me that she would call her dad and we could stay there. so I remember trying to use a touch pad phone, that doubled as a anti touch, touch device, i pointed my finger, my mind made the letters, almost like pushing my fingers in the mud, but with my mind. I remember this being difficult technology for me to work and the girl with me was trying desperately to stop my manly ways and just give it to her so she could just call. I remember the farm was surrounded by a fence, of what kind, i cant remember. Large trees.

I remember dreaming of an x girlfriend named April, but only just slightly, like she was a dream character  and not a center piece of manifestation.

Tonight was one of those all around, mind racing, volatile, unable to really manifest anything extremely vivid. Maybe its the marijuana before bed? I hear this can dampen rem by loads, but sometimes there can be REM rebounds, i have noticed these rem rebounds from drinking. I think smoking is killing my dream ability though. For a few weeks i was able to have vivid dreams every night, and going lucid regularly. Now using marijuana as a sleep aid, and a way to feel more relaxed, meditative, and have less anxiety, its like im swapping those comforts for my ability to dream clearly. So not a trade im willing to make lol. Mary, im sorry love muffin, but you gotta go.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

11/16/10 - A Night of Clarity

Im going to start this entry by listing the various places i remember being, also i do remember going lucid twice. Not for very long though.

Places i traveled too in no order:

 Long Cane Middle School Gym, i remember being in there watching two people playing basket ball, a white kid and a black kid, i remember trying to dribble a ball half way down a court, ran out of breathe, shot and missed, i remember traveling the hall to go to the bathroom at the end of it.. then i was some where else.

Lucid One:
I remember being at some sort of family get together, tons of people, and i became aware of being here, then i tried to levitate, after that, i knew i was dreaming and even made objects around me levitate, like a glass of soda,  made some of the other characters in my dream world stop and watch to validate that it was happening, then some how i got sucked back into the dream by the gravity of the dream, and i had to go dump a huge container of shit that i knew came from an RV.. why, idk, ive never done this before.

One of my dreams, i obtained a fairly large bag of what i understood to be cocaine, in my dream i put in my car, behind the seat, this one item stayed with me my entire decent into the dream planes, always in the back of my mind, like i knew it would be safe there until i got back.. I DONT EVEN DO COCAINe!!

I remember being in an apartment that had a mattress on the floor, i remember my mom was with me also, and on the television in this apartment was a friend of mine from my childhood street who is the bassist for Straight Line Stitch now, and then he was in the apartment, and i didn't want to sound like some groupie, so i didnt even mention to him that i just seen him in a commercial. i remember the faint sound of some sort of calming music in the background.

Towards the night time and end of this vast experience, i find my self back at the get together, with the first dream, like all the other dreams stemed off of the first one, anyways, this is the final dream of the night. It was dark, people were all coupled up around a central source of light, it was a mix of people, that i assumed were people and or friends of the other people there, now that i think about it, i believe i only knew like 2 people, perhaps. They were all talking about something, and i put in my two cents, they dismissed my idea, and then wouldnt even let me finish, getting louder and louder, i remembering ending up back at my car, pissed off, about to fix the problem ,i reach for the sack of cocain in the back of my seat, i turn the lights on, and remember thinking, "im turning them on but the damn lighting isnt changing" (i should have went lucid from this but i didnt) i check and see if its still wrapped up the exact same way it was when i got it, (which seems like 100's of dreams before) i unwrap it, grab something to snort some, my car starts driving itself down the hill on which is was parked, i didnt care, i was in a "fuck it" kind of mood. got to the bottom, snorted a spoon full (lol).. woke up. here i am writing this entry.

There is also a handful of other places that im remembering, but only just the place to i remember, like, i remember seeing tons of people from my high school and childhood days just in no particular order, just them being in dreams, just parts of it, sometimes it seems like the whole dream only happened in a time realative to the time im experiencing now, even though the dream experience felt like hours. I literally felt like ive been doing other things for days now, and ive been asleep for roughly  10 hours. Perhaps relativity is the reason why some dreams seem like blips, because the mind wasnt recording it down as fast as it was happening, but  in that state of now, time is irrelevant unless ones consciousness is experiencing time on a higher plane then one is existing on the current plane.

Monday, November 15, 2010

11/15/2010 - Restless and Wondering

Yet another one of those nights where my mind must of been racing to clear the days happenings or make sense of them. I dont remember dreaming, just bits and pieces of chaotic rawness that is existence. Like what im doing in waking life is effecting my ability to create peacefully and clearly.

Side note. I want to try the static and blind fold technique for going WILD .

Back from side note and onto the next side note.

Im going to start blogging about techniques that i have tried and found successful in helping me either reach awareness or sustain it.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

11/14/2010 - First Lucid since Journal Begining

Well last night was another one of those, mind racing, soul wondering type of dream experiences. Shapes swirling, nothing concrete except raw experience. Out of the foggy wondering of the colorful 6 senses , i recognized something with the "How did i get here" method. I didnt know how i had got there, and also something i did in the dream i immediately recognized as not being possible in the waking plane. What that was i cant remember, i do remember however being different people in layers of dreaming because of the how did i get here method, and having dreams with in dreams. I remember and started noticing the transitional state between dreams, i guess going lucid from that repetitious pattern, idk.

Maybe that was the purpose of last nights dream, was for me to create a dream out of dreams, and add another piece of evidence for the fractal nature of the universe. Or perhaps, those are some of the fractals of my own consciousness, those literally are me, in other lives that my own mind created. Those are universe's that i get to interact with because i generate them, infinity. What if, since ive already created them, they are forever there, in their own universe, a bing bang caused by a thought, in the rippling nature of the universe, it existed. As much existed as i exist right now. As an electronic charge and magnetic waves.

Time only exist because of how its felt and compared to the surrounding imposition. Time is created when consciousness is created, simultaneousness they coexist, because consciousness will create time in order to keep track of memory, and to be able to order things sequentially, in order to learn. Learning is created when consciousness tries, in a plane where consciousness always succeeds, there are no limits, and the universe consciousness creates will be limit less, adding law becomes limiting, to create is to control. Learning enlightens the controller. Once enough control is gained, time becomes extremely apparent. I wonder if in the dream state, knowing that one does trans-dimensionally exist through the dimensions one creates, will allow for greater clarity when in these other existences. If we could trick our internal time keeper to autotune into theres, then perhaps time dilation will occur enough for memory recollection/generation/lucidity to begin in depth.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Deja Vu : Showers

My first post
11/11/10 - Military and Showers 
  disucussed a dream about being in some sort apartment, hearing something in the next room ,kinda came true last night i have pictures but no way to get them from my phone to the internet. well i could email them to myself but.. that would take so long,.

Anyways, this damn hotel room, at the econolodge, was like, straight out of a freaking tim burton movie. Red fractal patterns on the couch and floor that makes you appreciate acid. Green computer chair that looks as if Willy Wonka should own it, we found a busted crack pipe in the drawer. Sweet place. Great lighting. Heater was nice and hot. Smelled like an ashtray. Our maybe a dirty bong, i think both.

Grey Goose, blow, and a few hookers later.. jk bout the blow..I find myself drifting off into this, what seemed like portal to this dreamscape that was contained to that room, like i remember from the dream realms that i could walk on all sides of the room, and it was a collective conscious dream. I wasnt the only one trapped in this paradox. It was one of those wondering dream realities. Maybe there is a connection.

Friday, November 12, 2010

11/12/10 - Cant remember dreams very well..

I dont really remember last nights dream all that well, but i do remember that i kept going tons of places as if my consciousness was separating on its own journeys and  those journeys were creating journeys that created journeys, only i couldn't just stop on a single place of interest. Complete chaotic fractals.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

11/11/10 - Military and Showers

I woke up.. asking myself how did I get here.. Well let me regress to what i remember.

The begining of my dreaming journey last night from what i can remember is.. I was in the military and it felt like we have been walking, exploring for hours, i remember walking through a kind of abandoned city, and the enemy was Asian, they were hiding under hay in barns, and in rooms as we walked by they poped up, after securing the area we move on, and i find myself climbing the side of a super steep hill and the only thing to grasp onto was the mini tree's that were growing out of the side, aswell as the green moss like plant life attached to the rocks and dirt. We get to the top of this steepness, we see a pond and it was the first time we have seen water in hours, most of us run to this pond and start drinking from it, others go for a brisk swim, and i remember thinking to myself, why.. its so cold out here.. then we rendezvous inside a building where we get in rank, and the CO states did i know the order in which to line up, and i remember saying, no.. i didnt, and he proceeded to show me, then i woke up slightly and checked my phone to realize it was only 2:30 a.m. so i closed my eyes and drifted to somewhere.. (Ironic today is veterans day)

Next dream in the sequence i remember... Also the one that i just woke up from..

I was in some sort of apartment, or hotel room, more like a hotel room the more i think about it, also side note, i just noticed that ive been in this apartment/hotel room setting before, this exact one too, multiple times now that i think about it, i even referenced it before.. hmm

any ways.. I remember someone being in the shower and they walked out, and i decided i needed a shower, i remember this person stating "ima get my trade mark ready and go out the door" and he ment his mustache, i remember knowing that he was going to court, and he was with some girl that i understood to be his girlfriend. The shower was of neutral temperature, and i remember stealing his shampoo (lol) then i hear BOOM BOOM thump thump boom boom, so i run to the door (i just realized i was automatically dressed..) and kept trying to peep out of the peep hole but couldn't see anything, then someone else was magically in the room also and we discussed that it sounded like dogs running in the room next to us, the same one we broke into (in a previous dream) from the balcony to explore because it had been abandoned for "years".. Then the dream started to fade and i woke up (i think lol) and it was my bull mastiff running up and down the stairs in my house.

I didnt go lucid, but i did just realize some of the stuff that are similar and reoccurring! =] onward we go!